Deep

Deep is the desire to be the apple of his eye, to comfort me when I cry, to be shown there is no limit, not even the sky….of how much he loves me, I wonder did he love me, could he love me, teach me……how to love me?

He had two others before me, so is that why he ignored me, never ever adored me, put everything before me? How come he didn’t realize or see the pain within my eyes, could I ever be his prize?

Born of my mother’s body but always seeking his approval, so why did he refuse to reach me, teach me about love of self so that better choices could be made for my health….mentally and physically, why doesn’t HE hear my plea, deep is the hurt emotionally, searching for something to set me free.

Black girls lost, turn into Black women lost, looking for love at any cost in all the wrong places, across many faces, the need for love is so contagious, I feel like dying….isn’t that outrageous?

Still waters run deep, but deeper still is the pill that I have to swallow since you left no blue print for me to follow. You left me handicapped in this race, my self-worth, I still chase…..but DEEP is the love that cannot be replaced.

Deep is the desire for you to love and accept me, but as time has gone by, I see things more clearly. There’s only one person’s love and acceptance I need and finally at last I know that person is ME.