Forget New Year’s Resolutions, Single Women; Time For New Decade Resolutions

Not only is 2020 a New Year, but a new decade is dawning as well, and some people are framing their annual resolutions in a bigger picture than just the next 12 months.

For single women aspiring to embrace being single and enrich their lives throughout the experience, looking ahead 10 years provides a longer lens to envision different aspects of self-development and expand the list of goals.

So rather than making New Year’s resolutions, 2020 is an apt time for single women to declare “new decade resolutions” that can result in a joyous and fulfilling life.

My ultimate new decade resolution for single women is to not allow a relationship status to define them. I think that’s where much of the discontent of being single comes from. It’s the belief that something is wrong with being single and that it says something unflattering about you as a woman.

So, you fight against it. You have to remind yourself that you are whole and worthwhile with or without a significant other. Remind yourself until you believe it, and practice behavior that reinforces the belief.

Here are five new decade resolutions for single women: 

1. Enjoy life as a “Party of One.” “Missing out on enjoyable activities can only add to feelings of discontent and make being single seem worse than it actually is,” Deadwiler says. “Don’t allow being single to serve as an unnecessary hindrance that holds you back.”
2. Find your tribe. “Seek out people who share your interests so that you don’t have to do things alone,” Deadwiler says. “There’s a Meetup group for nearly any interest you may have. Whatever you enjoy, there’s someone else who enjoys it, too, and is also looking for people with whom to do those things.”
3. Learn a new skill. It’s a wise use of time when single to focus on new skills that nurture personal development. “The more you learn and grow, the more complete you will feel when alone,” Deadwiler says. “The sense of accomplishment that you get will do wonders for your self-esteem.”
4. Stand up for your singlehood. People who are single can build confidence in their status by kindly reminding critics not to hold singlehood against them. “One who is single shouldn’t allow others to use your relationship status against you or speak of being single as a personal indictment,” Deadwiler says. “It’s OK to correct people or gently nudge them away from the idea that your being single is a problem that needs to be fixed. Tell them what you’ve learned and experienced and how you’ve enjoyed your time alone.”
5. Permit yourself to be happy. “It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that you should be on the prowl for a mate and that there is something abnormal about being alone,” Deadwiler says. “But you don’t have to be so focused on finding love that you can’t enjoy your own company.”

These new decade resolutions allow you to focus on yourself while serving as a reminder that you matter. You see yourself as a whole person and can be reminded of who you are – independent of anyone else. In these moments, that person feels like enough.”